Name of the Year

When I first made this list last March and more recently this one last month of some of the funnier and more unusual names I had seen in sports, I suppose I should have assumed that someone else had already taken this pursuit to another level.  The level to which they had, I could not have guessed. 

And apparently, not only was I embarrassingly outdone, but I have been getting outdone for 17 years (though, in my defense, they haven't been publishing it for the whole time). 

Last year's Name of the Year winner was a football player from LSU (Barkevious Mingo), but they're not all sports figures. And where I generally focused on the miserable albatrosses that parents bestowed on their children, many of the most spectacular of these names are last names, or even better: amazing combinations of first and last names.  These guys have done their homework and found some epic names, all of which are apparently verified before publishing (except, of course, for Licentious Beastie [Name of the Year 1999;  invalidated 2006] and Mummenschontz Bitterbeetle [Name of the Year 1994; invalidated 2006]).

Sponteneous Gordon, Nubian Peak and God's Power Offor appear to be early front-runners in this year's tournament (just in time for March, of course), but do not miss the Hall of Fame section.  Assumption Bulltron?  Vanilla Dong?  Tanqueray Beavers?  Tokyo Sexwale?  All your favorites are there.

Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Name of the Year.

And don't forget to check in during the coming weeks to vote in this year's tourney.

(Speaking of tourneys, if you would like to join a free Yahoo! NCAA Tourney group, go to Yahoo! Sports and enter the Group ID #5446 and password "march".  There are instructions there if you really want to bet $10 on your picks, but that is optional.  You need a Yahoo! screen name to play but it is free to register.)

Fantastic Sports Names, Vol. II (National Signing Day Edition)

Last March, inspired by the NCAA Tournament, I compiled a list of some of my favorite bizarre first names.  Looking through ESPN's list of high school seniors looking to sign their national letters of intent to play college football next year, I found a brand new crop of names to celebrate.  Some we've seen before, some we've heard before (but mom and dad came up with new spelling), and some are all new, baby. 

I give you the new and improved, categorized list of old-white-announcer-killing sports names. 

New Twists on Classics (add some punctuation or capitalization, change the spelling, add a prefix, combine common names)
Da'Rick, Darious, DeAnthony, Demarco, DeMarcus, Demetrius, Desman, Erique, Kameron, Kelvin, Kolton, Kraig, LaDarius, Lamarcus, LaMichael, LaMont, Lamonte, Markeith, Sascha, Seantrel, Sharrif, Shon, Stephone, Tai-ler, Tarik, Tevin, Telvin, Tharold, Toney, Wesleigh, Xzavier

Made-Up Names (Not quite real words, but familiar enough that they work; often Roman-sounding, typically seen as last names, or used as something other than a name - like an abstract concept)
Arrington, Artaves, Ashton, Carrington, Chevelle, Cortez, Damiere, Darien, Darion, DaVaris, Delonte, Demar, Devonta, Dietrich, Dior, Dondi, Eliar, Hasean, Jacquese, Jadeveon, Ja'Wuan, Jafus, Javorius, Jaylen, Jephte, Justice, Kadron, Kameel, Keenard, Kiehl, Lache, La'El, Martavius, Nickell, Quan, Quandre, Rakeem, Savon, Serderius, Shamir, Shaq, Sheroid, Sterling, Traion, Trovon, Watts

Foreign Names (or at least foreign sounding enough that I didn't think it was a Made-Up Name)
Aremide, Ifo, Faatele, Keiwone, Khairi, Ma-autua, Mustafa, Nyjee, Owamagbe Odighizuwa (good luck, Verne Lundquist), Sioasi

I did not make up any of these names and spelled them as they are spelled on ESPN.com.  I ommitted a few unusual names that I assumed were nicknames or abreviations like Nino). 

I realize that a great majority of these names belong to African American kids and so this post risks being labeled as racist.  However, I refute that by stating that I couldn't care less what people name their children. I haven't singled out any particular race of people; I was just looking at a list of athletes.  The ratio of black kids to white kids in this list is probably about the ratio of black kids to white kids in that list.

Plus, you can't just go calling your kid "La-El," Watts," or "Xzavier" and not think someone is going to think it's odd.  Thank you to whatever the hell was going on in people's heads 17 years ago.  One can only imagine how pervasive IM-speak will be/has been in the naming of the next/current generation of toddlers.  The over-under on when a number will apear in the actual spelling of a name sits at 5 years.

Fantastic Sports Names List, Vol. I

During the NCAA Tournament, we are introduced to players, mascots and sometimes even schools that we have never heard of before. This is a list of the some of my personal favorite unusal names, interesting modifications and combinations, and creative spellings of names we're all familiar with. Not all are people in the Tourney, and are just others I have noticed during my years following sports.

They are listed in alphabetical order, with my personal favorites in italics.

Alderius Anfernee Carmello D’Angelo DeAngelo DaJuan Damier Da'Sean Dashawn DeAndre De'Jon Dejuan DeMar Demarre Demetric Demonte Derwin Dionte Doneal D'Qwell Dwyane E'Twaun Gartrell JaJuan Jamarcus Jamon J'Cory Jhavid J'Nathan Jrue Keyshawn Knoshawn Kore LaDainian Lamarcus Laron LeKendric LeSean L'Ron Markell Roburt Santonio Santwon Shonn Steffphon Tajuan Tremaine Trumaine Tyreke Tywain

Clearly I am partial to the ones where it is a completely made up word or when a random letter is thrown in front of an otherwise ordinary name.

The wife and I have long been considering names for our kids and some of the leaders at this point are V'Scott, Firlamdinian, Trapezius, L'Corduroy and of course Seven, as a nod to George Costanza.

Did I miss any of your favorites? Comment below.