What To Root For/Against This Week

So you are trying to figure out who to root for this week as the NCAA Tournament looms. That is part of the problem with betting on sports and playing fantasy sports - you wind up having to root for people like Bob Huggins to win Tourney games, and Chipper Jones to have good seasons. The trick of course, is to only bet/play with teams and players that you already like, or have reason to.

Louisville will be easy to root for because they were the forgotten little sisters, still not unanimously considered a 1-seed even after beating UConn and Pitt in the regular season and outlasting them and winning the Big East Tournament. Though they were eventually rewarded with the benefit of playing within two-and-a-half hours of home for the first four rounds, and having the weakest 2, 3, and 4 seeds in the Tourney.

West Virginia will be easy to root against because, again, Bob Huggins is a sleazeball. I have them beating Dayton in the first round but losing to Kansas, which will be nice considering that Kansas is another team that's easy to root for.

Need a villain? How about Cal State Northridge? I know it seems weird to root against Cinderella, but they are terrible and won't get out of the first round unless Memphis actually fails to appear anyway. More importantly, the Matadors have the lowest graduation rate among all 65 competitors - 8%. Of the 12 guys on the team, one will graduate within six years. And it isn't as though they are losing these kids to the NBA. But just wait till Huggins has been at WVU long enough to be counted in this stat. 8%...ha!

I am not sure if Florida State is a hero or villain. They are a decent pick to knock off 1-seed Pitt in the Sweet 16 and would be a fun story, but they are also an athletic department plagued with academic dishonesty and administrative neglect. The jury is still out on the 'Noles.

Switching gears, someone to root against is an 89-year-old Ohio woman, Edna Jester (who ironically has little or no sense of humor). When Mrs. Jester's neighbors' kids' ball went into her yard one too many times, she kept it and refused to give it back. The kids' parents (who are also not to be rooted for) sued her for the ball. The case was thrown out and she counter-sued for emotional distress...which was also thrown out. But at least our taxes paid for all of this.

Manny Ramirez is another one to root against. Not only is he on the Dodgers, which automatically makes him hate-able, but he has now officially staked claim on a lingering hamstring injury that can't really be fixed or medically disproved. So he has his built-in excuse for lagging for the remainder of the year. Enjoy, Dodger fans. The fantasy value of every player on your team and the potential division championship just flew out the window as Troy Tulowitski's liner flew down into the left field corner, forcing Manny to take 10-15 running steps before "re-injuring" himself. But at least it was determined that Jason Schmidt does not have the arm-strength to be a starter.

Looking for a true American hero? How about Jenyne Butterfly, winner of the 2009 U.S. Pole Dance Championships, hosted by the U.S. Pole Dance Federation. Really, no more needs to be said here...except that this makes it possible for women everywhere to dream big. Way to go Jenyne.

Hmm, Jay Cutler or the Broncos. I tend to want to side with players in messes like this, and I kinda like Cutler because Philip Rivers is such a huge a-hole. But seriously Jay. You are a professional athlete and you do not have a lifetime contract with the team. If they were contacted about a trade for you and said no, isn't that all you need to know about them wanting you around? If they allegedly looked at the market and realized that you were their guy, shouldn't you be happy for now and work hard to make sure that stays the case? Instead, you whine that they have turned their back on you (despite that they turned down the freaking trade!) and now you pull your house on the market and reportedly demand a trade. You sir, will be have whiny brat stamped on your player bio for the rest of your career.

Sergio Escudero. Never heard of him? He is a soccer player, so clearly he is someone to root against, but he is perfect example of why soccer players are to be disliked. Watch the video to see why. And keep in mind that a foul cannot be called on a referee. Perhaps he is a method actor and cannot "turn it off." Somewhere Vlade Divac is smiling. Clearly this guy sucks anyway because he is Brazilian and doesn't go by just one name.

I got distracted...back to the Tourney. You have to root against Big Ten schools, partially because there are eleven schools in the Big Ten. It should be the Big Televen...and so it shall be on this site. Anyway, Purdue was the conference's preseason favorite and was the best team all season till they stumbled at the end of the season. They went on to win the Big Televen tournament however. So it is fair to say that they are the best team in the conference if not second best. And they got a 5-seed. But somehow the Selection Committee (also to be jeered for having hosed small conferences, and also for this) thought that there were six other schools in this league good enough to be among the field. If you're counting, that means you root against Michigan State, Illinois, Ohio State, Wisconsin, Minnesota and Michigan as well. If you have a hard time remembering all of them, just look for the teams scoring in the 40's...that'll be the Big Televen.

Obviously that also means Arizona must be jeered as well for being in undeservedly, but more importantly, the mid-majors that did get in need extra support since there were only four selected this year. So be sure to get behind Xavier and Dayton (Atlantic 10), Butler (Horizon) and BYU (Mountain West). Temple, Gonzaga, Utah, Western Kentucky, American, Portland State, Northern Iowa and Siena are all mid-major/small conference automatic bid winners who have good shots to make some early round noise as well, with the Zags being the flag bearers, of course.

I will also be rooting for certain match ups to occur, even if it means rooting for teams I don't like. UCLA-Duke, UNC-Gonzaga, and Memphis-Missouri would make for great Sweet 16 games, and Duke/UCLA-UNC would make for a fantastic Final Four game as well.

The fans in Kansas City and Miami could use some support this week as well. Not only did they not get any local teams to root for, they only got one game that anyone cares about (Maryland-Cal). Memphis-CSUN, Oklahoma-Morgan St., Clemson-Michigan, ASU-Temple, Syracuse-S. F. Austin, Utah-Arizona and Wake Forest-Cleveland St. Ouch. Those people are paying just as much as the people in Greensboro who get to see Duke and UNC play home games, and a potentially awesome 8-9 game (LSU-Butler).

And finally, we should all root against any of the Dayton games being any good, so CBS will air as little of Verne Lundquist and Bill Raftery as possible. Of course, they also air every game free on their website, so maybe this last one doesn't matter as much. In related news, hurray for CBS broadcasting every single game for free despite that they could obviously charge ridiculous amounts of money for this, like Major League Baseball and the NFL do.

A Brave, Unproductive, New World

A new era in my life has begun and there is almost no way that it can be positive in almost any way...

A sports bar has opened within stumbling distance of my apartment.

It was bad enough that my brother, who is my best friend and best sports-watching-buddy, and his new bride moved in across the street from me. That was enough of a distraction from real-world responsibilities (especially since they have Guitar Hero). But now that a sports bar has been thrown into the mix, my wife is in deep trouble. And apparently a bowling alley is being built across the street from the bar.

The bar, Big Wangs Wings, opened this past weekend was an absolute mad-house on Sunday for the NFL games despite that the air conditioning doesn't work yet and it was somewhere between 80 and 400 in there. There were people standing along the walls waiting for a table to open up (good luck) and it was the most egalitarian sports crowd I have ever seen.

With no L.A. football team, and with the fact that everyone from L.A. is from somewhere else, we tend to have pretty eclectic crowds, but generally if you go to a bar, there is always one team that dominates the crowd (Raiders, Chargers and 49ers usually, unless it is a "Patriots bar", etc.). The opening weekend festive atmosphere was perhaps to blame, but any time anyone did anything in any game, the place erupted.

I saw jerseys from all of the following teams: Seattle, New Orleans, Jets, Giants, New England, Denver, San Diego, Indianapolis, San Francisco, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, Oakland and even Kansas City. And I wasn't there for the early games!

When Jay Cutler held up his two fingers after scoring that last minute touchdown and the Broncos went for, and converted, the two-point conversion, the roof almost blew off of the place. It was one of the great sports-related moments I can remember being a part of (except for the openly weeping by the Chargers fan sitting next to me who was utterly confused by the no-fumble call that ruined his entire existence). There were people standing on top of booths hugging perfect strangers. It was spectacular.

To say the least, I will be back next Sunday. And as soon as I let my wife know that they have bloody mary specials on weekends, she will be joining me.

As for the games themselves, I only have a few observations from last weekend: Devon Hester was carted off of the field with a rib injury. Where are his ribs, because mine don't really have much to do with walking. Ladainian Tomlinson is a huge sissy. He missed three quarters with a jammed toe? Pull it out and get in there. You are the best player on your team/league; you are playing a divisional rival; you are already 0-1 and 0-2 = no playoffs; and you are the #1 draft pick in every fantasy draft in the country (except for those of you who smartly picked Adrian Peterson like I did). The Giants may never lose again (especially if they keep getting to play terrible teams!). Tom Brady is totally over-rated and should start looking for another team. Matt Cassel may have just "Tom Brady'ed" him...or not. The Pats may get things together and be good, but they aren't doing anything in January, but when the Jets figure out what the hell to do with their offense, they might be. USC got 61 of 64 first place votes in the AP poll. The three people who did not vote for them after they beat the #5 team by 32 should have the right to vote stripped from them. No one, but a shameless Georgia alumnus would vote for them after they struggled to beat a crappy team and USC did what they did. And finally, Vin Scully has a very hard time using linking verbs (but I still want him to tell me stories as I fall asleep each night).