Showing posts with label Chip Caray. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chip Caray. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Aikman Awards For Sports-Journalistic Incompetence

This is probably a post that could be written daily, but as you watch and listen to sports, read about it, and listen to sports-talk, you stumble across spectacularly stupid people.  And I'm not talking about Troy Aikman's command of the English language.  Well, I am.  But not only that.

--Listening to local L.A. guys on ESPN radio on Sunday just before Cliff Lee took the mound for the Phillies against the Dodgers in Game 3 of their NLCS in Philadelphia, they were all arguing the same point that the Dodgers may actually have an advantage over the Phillies in the fact that they do not have an ace.  The argument was that if you reply on an ace and he loses, it is a great psychological blow.  But if you have no ace, you can't ever experience that let-down.

This is a ground-breaking concept that can be applied universally!  Why keep your body in good condition?  Rather, we should all get a little pudgy and try to eat fatty foods so that if we have a heart attack someday, we will not be disappointed because we knew it was likely.  Don't study or work hard because if you do not reach a career goal, you will have seen it coming. 

So GM's out there: don't go after the best players possible.  Sure guys like Cliff Lee will win 18-20 games a year and keep their ERA's under 3.0.  But think of the psychological impact in those 4-5 games a year that they don't win!  Always aim for mediocrity so you won't be surprised when you get it.

Incidentally, Lee threw 8 shutout innings and allowed 3 hits and no walks in that game.  The Phillies won 11-0.  The Dodgers threw two non-"ace" starters onto the mound that night and they combined to allow 8 earned runs in 4.2 innings.  What's the psychological impact of that?

--These same radio guys went on to debate what has wrong with Manny Ramirez since he had "returned."  They delicately avoided the elephant in the room, deciding that his problem was one of three things:
1) He is not confident in his game plan.  Despite his aloof image, Manny had always been a well-studied hitter and always had a plan when he stepped into the box.  "Something" has affected his belief that his plan will work.
2) He has lost his swagger.  "Something" has made it so pitchers are not intimidated by him anymore.  They are attacking him more.
3) He is getting fooled.  "Something" has changed and he is no longer guessing right on pitches.  He is often not getting the pitches he expects in certain spots.

Not once did they mention what it was that he had returned from - a performance enhancing drug suspension.  Not once did they even mention performance enhancing drugs at all.  Manny is the poster-child for what happens after you stop using.  It is one thing to be a fan of a team and be blind to your heroes' faults.  But these guys are journalists.  You can be a fan and a journalist, but when you are working, put down the foam finger and tell it like it is!  As they say, "no cheering from the pressbox!"

--I heard earlier this week that Sasha Vujacic cut his hair short and had an interesting, non-fashion-related reason.  Vujacic believes that as a rookie (with short hair), he did not get calls from refs because he was too baby-faced.  So he grew his hair longer and grew out some stubble for a few seasons so that he would look a little older.  Now that he is a more established player, he feels that he will get more calls even if he is still pretty baby-faced with his new short-haircut. 

There is some logic in that.  Vujacic did look older with his grubby-look and does look very young again now.  The problem is that he is failing to see that the reason that refs may have treated him like a rookie was that he was one.  And the reason that he will likely get some veteran treatment by refs now is because he is one.  All that hair really did as make him look like an idiot for a couple of years. 

--When the Phillies beat the Dodgers on a walk-off triple in Game 4, Chip Caray gave a great "exciting-game-ending-play-at-the-plate" call.  The trouble was, there was no play and Caray was basically just reading from a script.  Jimmy Rollins hit the ball to the game and Carey went right into the script including the obligatory "Ruiz rounds third; here's the throw to the plate...it's not in time!  Phillies win!"  There was no throw.  The ball was cut off and Rafael Furcal was actually shown carrying it with him off the field. 

This is just a week after Caray blew the biggest call in the Twins-Tigers playoff game.  Bottom of the 10th inning, 1 out, runners on first and third.  Here is Caray's call: "Line drive, base hit...caught out there.  Runner tags; here he comes.  Throw to the plate...on target and in tiiiiiime. A double play ends the 10th.  Rayburn evens the ledger."

Here's what happened: Nick Punto lined out to left fielder Ryan Rayburn.  And it wasn't a diving play or anything.  Rayburn just kinda stood there and the ball was hit right to him.  The runner from third tagged up and Rayburn threw home.  The throw was way right, but the catcher caught it and dove back at the plate to get the out at home.

So the call was dead on except that it wasn't a base hit (which, by definition, couldn't have been caught anyway), the throw wasn't close to the target, and Rayburn didn't "even the ledger" because the game was already tied. 

So he's blown the call on the biggest moment of two of the last 10 games he's worked.  Not to mention a million other gaffs along the way.  He gives incorrect stats.  He calls line-drive outs "base hits" somewhat regularly.  He is a chronic exaggerator.  He seems surprised and impressed by the most obvious common knowledge "trivia."  He makes factual and game-play errors constantly.  And if I have to hear him say again that Sandy Alomar, Sr. used to say that you don't "watch" the game, you should "observe" it, I am going to lose it.  He says it every game, usually out of context.  In Game 4 of the NLCS he said it after Ron Darling pointed out that pitchers in the bullpen way out in center field have a hard time seeing the exact edges of an ump's strike zone. 

From USA Today:
"This was heard from Caray during [a] Twins-New York Yankees American League Division Series game: 'A quality at-bat for (Minnesota shortstop) Orlando Cabrera.'
"But Cabrera struck out with two men on, his team down 6-2 to end the top of the seventh inning and batting champion Joe Mauer on deck."
So not only is he incompetent, but he is he a grown man who wants people to call him "Chip" even though his name is Harry.  But I'm sure he's paid really well and has lots of people who tell him how good he is.  (There was a fantastic fake-Chip Caray account on Twitter that got taken down after being highlighted in a post on Deadspin.  So you can't see the Twitter anymore, but see some highlights here.)

Perhaps this post should be the Aikman-Caray Awards?

--And finally, I am not sure if I blame ESPN and Joe Schad for reporting this story, or if I blame the high school coach for being a moron more.  But Terrelle Pryor's high school football coach thinks Jim Tressel isn't using Pryor properly.  I'm sure Tressel (and most Div. I college coaches) love taking strategic advice from high school coaches.  I'm sure Tressel will take it to heart and change his system because a guy who used on know one of his players thinks he's doing it wrong.  Pryor's kindergarten teacher reportedly thinks he should be allowed to nap during defensive series because Pryor often looks cranky on the sidelines.

Monday, October 20, 2008

A Somewhat Bitter Potpourri

After a typically busy weekend in sports, I can't decide what to write about today, so instead I will simply throw out random thoughts about lots of the stories that have been going on, most of which are still tainted by the fact that the Phillies are in the World Series and not the Mets.

-Chip Caray used to call the Rays' James Shields, "Big-Game James Shields." This would have been a decent nickname for the guy if he had ever pitched in a big game before this week, and it it wasn't already James Worthy's nickname. So I figured that Caray was just calling anyone with the name James, "Big-Game James." And then in Game 7 of the ALCS, he called Rays' pitcher Matt Garza, "Big-Game Matt Garza." I don't even know where to begin with this.

-I am not sure which was my favorite TV sports programming moment of the weekend was, and both are up there for best moment of the year as well: 1) Little-brother-sports network TBS apparently forgot that they were in charge of broadcasting Game 6 of the ALCS. For the first 20 minutes (just long enough to miss B.J. Upton's first-inning homer), they instead were airing a repeat of the Steve Harvey show. I am sure folks in Boston handled this well. 2) The Cowboys sucked so bad on Sunday that Fox was worried that no one wanted to watch it anymore so they switched away from the blowout on their national broadcast. It wasn't just great that it was the Cowboys getting beaten, or beaten by the Rams, or publicly embarrassed, or that the game they switched to was the Giants. The best part is that the game they switched to stunk too, but was still more competitive and watchable than the Cowboys. I am very happy right now. That said, I could watch a 24 hour network of Cowboy losses, so it was a kinda six of one, half a dozen of another for me.

-I watched SNL this week because I thought that Sarah Palin's appearance might be worth it, and I thought, "you know, there are a lot of funny people on there now. Maybe it is coming back." Nope. The opening was another Tina Fey-as-Palin sketch and then Palin walked in and talked to Lorne Michaels' about the impersonation. Not that funny. Then Marky Mark appears (no Funky Bunch) to pile onto a joke from last week. Not funny. Then Alec Baldwin appears! He doesn't recognize Palin and thinks it is Tina Fey and starts bad-mouthing Palin's politics right to her face unintentionally. Not funny. Then I watched a few sketches and wanted to destroy my TV so this could never happen again. Weekend Update was, as usual for the last 33 years, the funniest part of the show, which is now simply an embarrassing obvious form of advertising for whatever crappy movies the hosts are starring in.

-Speaking of movies, Saw V is out this week. There have been four Saws? Has anyone ever seen one of these? Didn't the first one come out last year? Does anyone know what the premise is? And of course, it will be the top box office movie this weekend despite that no one knows anyone who sees it.

-How is it that movies are compared to movies by money generated, not tickets sold? We are all aware that movie tickets cost double what they did 15-years ago so this box-office stat is totally irrelevant, right?

-LaDainian Tomlinson's average fantasy draft pick number was 1.3 on Yahoo. So of the hundreds of thousands of leagues, he was pretty much picked first in 90% of them or more. This means that he is single-handedly ruining the seasons of more fantasy sports players than anyone in the history of fantasy sports. 58-yards per game? Apparently Lorenzo Neal was the Chargers' MVP, because he is gone, LDT stinks and so do the Chargers. Whoops.

-I had Adrian Peterson ranked #1 on my board and I am in first place. My two older brothers picked right behind me in the first round and got Steven Jackson and Brian Westbrook - both good picks. Yet they are both fighting it out for the bottom of the league with my two buddies, neither of whom has checked his team since June.

-This will be a spectacular baseball-fan's World Series but will undoubtedly get the lowest ratings in the history of the Series. Both teams steal bases, hit-and-run, play great defense, have great pitching and big power. Guys like Shane Victorino and Evan Longoria, who seem to absolutely love that they are playing baseball, make it fun to watch even the guys like Pat Burrell, who looks like he just left a lobotomy. You have to wonder how full Tropicana Field will be now that all the Red Sox fans will be gone. Here's a fun stat, which will be higher: Rays stolen bases + homers or Phillies strikeouts?

-I am sure Fox is thrilled that they got this matchup instead of the Dodgers and Red Sox, which would have crushed the best-ratings ever because there is something for non-fans to watch - the potential for Manny Ramirez to hit 20 homers as the Red Sox fans completely turn on his as the series progresses and they forget that he played a bigger role in winning those two World Series than anyone because he made them have to pitch to David Ortiz. I was thinking that it would have been interesting to have the Dodgers and Sox, but would it have? The Dodgers were not a very good team, even with Manny. And the Sox fans are so obnoxious now that they've forgotten what losing was like. They don't deserve more magic for a while.

-I didn't like the numbers on the Cleveland Browns' helmets last week. Maybe it was because they beat up the Giants, but even before it was out of hand, I definitely remember thinking that those are some of the coolest uniforms in football, and part of the reason is that they'd helmets are blank.

-A few weeks ago, I was in the Glendale Galleria on a Saturday afternoon and saw a big group of people with Fresno State shirts on. Fresno State had played UCLA at the Rose Bowl that day. That tells you a lot about Fresno when their fans go to L.A. for a football game and then their postgame activity/sight-seeing is a mall, and not even a cool mall.

-Top 2 Worst Scripted Live TV Sports moment of the year: 1) David Stern handing the NBA championship trophy to the Celtics' owner and using the NBA's "There can be only one" tagline as his speech. At least he got booed loudly. 2) Jim Nance's NCAA Finals call of, "Rock Chalk Championship!" when Kansas won it all. What can that possibly have meant? It doesn't even have a nice ring to it. That's what he stayed up the night before coming up with? I was expected Caray to best both of them with a painful pun on the Rays dropping the "Devil" from their name and becoming good. He failed me.

-No Florida baseball team has ever lost a playoff series.

-Pastors, priests, rabbis, etc. around the country are no doubt working up sermons for next week about what happens to your life when you get rid of the "Devil" thanks to the Rays.

-There was just a fundraiser at the Hollywood Park Casino to raise money for a charity that supports the Hollywood Park Casino. What? Has there ever been a less-worthy cause for charitable donation than a casino?

-Last week, Blake DeWitt came to bat at one point trailing 5-0 with no out and runners on 1st and 2nd. It was at Dodger Stadium and it was a big moment so the crowd was rocking. DeWitt leads the universe in runners left on, so it was not all that surprising when the rookie grounded into a 6-4-3 double play. But it was sad. You had to feel kinda bad for the guy. The crowd was dead, the threat was dead, the series was dead, and he must have felt like it was all his fault. I was watching with my dad, who said, "You almost feel bad for the kid. But he's a Dodger, so screw him." Dad, here's to them finishing their 50th year in L.A. unhappily, and to all prospects for #51 being truly miserable!

-Seriously, the Rays are in the World Series, are probably going to win. Seriously. Tampa Bay. The Devil Rays.

-The photo above has nothing to do with anything today. I just throught it was really funny and somehow that fit this spastic, non-sequitor-filled drivel.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Mind-Blowing Underperformers Of The Week

I suppose at this point, no one should be surprised at what Tim Wakefield's pitching looks like. The guy is the only pitcher in the league who throws pitches that are the same velocity as his age. We all know that when a knuckleball is working, it is near-unhittable and when it is not, well let's just say it's hittable, and the pitcher seems to have little or no control over whether it is working or not. None of this is new and I have seen Wakefield pitch probably 30+ times, and yet I watched in utter amazement last night at his pitching.

Without any exaggeration whatsoever, Wakefield looked like a high school coach throwing batting practice. If this was the home run derby, they'd ask him to throw harder. Watching him on a bad night makes me think without question that I could have been a big league hitter, or pitcher for that matter. Watching everyone else makes me realize I couldn't have been a varsity high school hitter.

I like to listen closely for the real train wreck moments for announcers, and Chip Caray has really put himself head-and-shoulders above his colleagues in this area during his career. In Game 3, Paul Byrd came in as the long-man to relieve Jon Lester. At one point Caray said, "In a lost cause for Boston, Paul Byrd is doing some valuable work." Never mind that he had given up a three-run homer in the previous inning that blew the game wide open, nor that he gave up a solo shot on the next pitch after Caray said that line (apparently reading from the play-by-play announcers' handbook). Byrd was doing valuable work, but it was for Tampa Bay.

In Game 4, the Rays erupted for back-to-back homers off of Wakefield in the first inning. The second one was hit over the Green Monster, over the Monster seats, over the ad-banner above the seats, over the camera that is at the height of the top of the foul pole, and out into the night. To say the least, it was a bomb. Caray's call: "That one's got a chance!" Yeah, a chance to land in Connecticut!

After Juan Pierre started in center field for the Dodgers in Game 4 of the NLCS (seriously, that happened), and considering that tonight will be the Dodgers' final game, I thought that today would be a good day to break down Andruw Jones' season from a financial point-of-view. Sadly, the Dodgers had to fake a season ending injury for Jones to save face for himself and the organization, so his statistics don't quite add up to a full season's worth...but his paychecks still do!

Keep in mind that he was brought in for top dollar after a dismal offensive season last year in the hopes that he would bolster the Dodgers' power numbers. Enjoy:

Batting Average: .158
2008 Salary: $14,726,910
$ per Game Started: $267,762 (55 starts)
$ per At Bat: $70,463.68 (209 AB's)
$ per Home Run: $4,908,970 (3 homers)
$ per RBI: $1,051,922.14 (14 RBI)
$ per Run Scored: $701,281.42 (21 runs)
$ per Hit: $446,270 (33 hits)
$ per Extra Base Hit: $1,227,242.50 (8 doubles, 1 triples, 3 homers)
$ per Pitch Faced: $14,409.89 (1022 pitches)
$ per Donut Eaten: $.04 (368,172,750 donuts*)
Another stat of note: three times as many K's (76) as walks (27).

*-Donut stat is approximate.