I Can't Imagine Forcing Anyone To Wear A Dodger Jersey

Though I apologize in advance for delving into TMZ-territory, this story is just sports-related enough to make the cut here.

I had a tentative plan of what I was going to write today but I threw the whole thing out the window when I heard on Pardon The Interruption that Alyssa Milano revealed in a new book that when she and Brad Penny first began dating, he insisted that she wear a Dodgers jersey to bed.

I am pretty much just dumbfounded about this and cannot think of anything else to write about except wondering what the hell is wrong with Penny.

If Samantha Micelli comes to me and says, "I will wear anything to bed that you want, so what do you pick?", I think the answer is pretty obviously, "nothing."

Who's More Stoned Right Now: Big Brown Or Joakim Noah?

Now that the Spurs are finally, mercifully eliminated, has anyone noticed how much Kurt Thomas looks like that dude from the Snickers commercial where the guy is playing guitar and singing the "prancing nuget in the meadows" song? (click here to watch) Here they are:


Maybe it's just me but I honestly could not watch a Spurs game without humming that song to myself. And I don't know why but I think it is wierd that the guitar player is lefthanded.

The Mets crushed the Dodgers yesterday, which was nice. You always hear that certain players struggle or really play well against certain teams, but it never made sense to me. Why does Brad Penny suck so amazingly badly against the Mets and then is a Cy Young-type against everyone else? In his career against them, he has probably pitched to 100 different Mets players, and no matter who is wearing the uniform, they hit off of him. Doesn't make sense. (Note how badly I am working to avoid making a crappy pun on Brad Penny's worth when he plays the Mets)

In reverse, why does David Wright kill the Dodgers (highest batting average against the Dodgers of any player in 50 years!), or Larry Jones kill the Mets? Again it is not as though it has all been against the same 3-4 pitchers. Confidence is the answer I guess, but it still is beyond reason.

The college baseball playoffs start today (Div. I) and I am happy to say that my alma mater is ranked 7th in the country! This would really be great if they didn't get absolutely hosed on their tourney draw. The way the first round of the baseball playoffs work is that teams are groups geographically and play four-team double elimination tournaments. Example: Day one: A beats B, C beats D. Day 2: A beats C and B beats D. That makes two losses for D and they are out. A has two wins, B and C have one each. Day 3: B and C play with the losing being eliminated and the winner faces A for the Regional Championship. The next round is the Super Regional where teams play a best 2 out 3 series against another Regional Champ. That leaves eight Super Regional Champs and they play two 4-team double elimination tourneys (just like first round). Winners in each side of the bracket play a best of three series for the title.

Confused?

Would it make it clearer if I said that there is no clear ranking in baseball - there are three widely viewed polls (Baseball America, Writers, and USA Today/ESPN). Also the whole tournament is not seeded - only the top 8. And although USD is the highest ranked team in their Regional, they drew the #2 seed and have to play on the road. Depending on the poll, USD is 11/7/10th. Host and #1 seed Long Beach State is 25/18/unranked. #3 seed Berkeley (who USD plays today) is 15/22/19th. How does the #7 team in the country not get to host? How does the third best team get the top seed and get to play at home? How do three top 25 schools have to play one another in the first round? There will be 16 teams left after the first round, so statistically, if only 1 out of 3 top 25 schools can advance, we will have 8 ranked schools left and 8 unranked. There is no way that more than two ranked schools should be in any one Regional bracket, regardless of how far they have to travel to make it work.

Of course, the Toreros should be able to beat up Fresno State and can certainly win 2 out of three against Long Beach State and Cal. so all of this whining may not matter.

A Triumphant Finish To A Miserable Trip

Wednesday morning I was beginning to doubt if what I wear to the games makes a difference in the Mets' performance on the field. Clearly, I was in a state of utter desperation after having attended five consecutive losses by the Mets in Los Angeles (two this week and all three last season). The game before that was the 2006 NLDS clincher when the Mets swept the Dodgers, but I can't remember what I was wearing (I know it was a black jersey, but which hat and t-shirt escape me).

Well it took a while to decipher the code and figure out what my wardrobe has to be in order for the Mets to beat the Dodgers. It is quite simple really: I wear my bright orange Mets t-shirt with a blue t-shirt underneath, I carry my Mets jacket (but do not wear it), and I wear my Mets visor. And the Mets' starter throws 8 innings of two-hit shutout ball, while the offense scores 12 runs. That will work every time; I am convinced.

What a perfect day it was to mark my first ever weekday day game. I showed up two hours early because I am currently retired. The teams did not take batting practice because they had just played about 11 hours earlier. I walked over towards the Mets bullpen and the pitchers and catchers were all practicing in right field. Mike Pelfrey, Duaner Sanchez and Pedro Feliciano were all mimicking Johan Santana's motion (I witch they'd mimic more about him!) until Santana arrived and showed them that they were all wrong. The photo above is Santana correcting Pelfrey.

Later Santana and Pelfrey were in the pen with pitching coach Rick Peterson working on mechanics. Peterson was working with Santana on getting him to make his leg kick more pronounced and not just sliding through it. Pelfrey was not actually throwing a ball; he was just going through his routine since is the starter for the Mets next game.

When Pelfrey finished, he could have walked through the stands and not been noticed, but when Santana finished practice, he was predictably accosted by fans for autographs. He signed a few balls on his way to the clubhouse but one particularly annoying kid threw his glove out of the bleachers into the Mets bullpen right near Santana. He either pretended to, or actually didn't notice, but he left and the little brat sat there wondering how the hell he was going to get back his glove. I like to think he didn't, but I am sure some security guard got it for him.

The ceremonial first pitch was thrown by some girl on Friday Night Lights. Blake DeWitt caught the pitch for her, apparently at her request. She was clearly desperately in love with him. It was like watching a cheerleader flirt with a star player at a high school game. DeWitt was apparently distracted by the affair because he didn't hit a home run Wednesday as he had on Monday and Tuesday. I can only imagine the crap he took from his teammates after she ran over to the dugout afterwards in order to get his autograph.

Once the game started, it wasn't long before Dodger ace Brad Penny started to look like a Wii Baseball pitcher when you get a rally going. Sweat was pouring off of him and exclamation points shot out of his head every time he threw the ball. As if being yanked from the game in the fifth after having allowed seven earned runs wasn't bad enough, Scott Proctor promptly walked the first hitter and then gave up a double to David Wright and a wild pitch, clearing the bases and adding three more earned runs to Penny's line. Apparently P-r-o-c-t-o-r does not spell relief.

Wright had entered this series as the active career batting average leader against the Dodgers. After this series, in which he went 1-for-13 with six K's and six left on base, he no longer holds that title. I'd still name a kid David Wright Bergen if my wife let me (I doubt she'll be cool with Edgardo Alfonzo Bergen either).

The Mets crushed the Dodgers on Wednesday, 12-1 with John Maine only allowing 2 hits in the first 8 innings. After getting one out and allowing one run on two hits in the ninth, he was yanked and Sanchez mowed down Delwyn Young and James Loney to end the blowout win. It is amazing how quickly frustration and hopelessness can disappear with one good win. After two horrible games for the team and fans on Monday and Tuesday, the Mets came out Tuesday and just erased it all. Sure they lost the series, but they're going home and Santana is pitching on Saturday. All is well (note: I reserve the right to whine more next week if they don't beat up on the Reds this weekend).

Finally, Andruw Jones was boo-ed throughout this series despite actually getting a few hits (2-for-8). His swing is awful and he has had way too many Dodger dogs however. Allegedly, he asked management if he could be driven to and from centerfield in the old bullpen helmet-cart each inning. Dodger fans were actually doing the FSU/Braves tomahawk chop-chant to make Jones feel comfortable so he'd hit like he did for the rest of the decade before last year. Jones doubled down the right field line and scored the Dodgers' only run.

For comparison, Juan Pierre is hitting .304 with 12 RBI. Jones is .170 with 4 RBI. John Maine (who got his first hit of the season on Wednesday) is .067 with 2 RBI.