Monday, April 20, 2009

'That Just Happened!'

While it would be difficult to choose the funniest moment in Talladega Nights, nor the most nonsensical, the faceoff between Ricky Bobby and Jean Girard when Cal Naughton, Jr. teases the ambiguously gay Frenchman with "shake and bake" is right up there in both categories. How often would, "That just happened," have been the perfect exclamation after something shocking, surprising or amazing happened?

Like when two Washington Nationals players took the field wearing jerseys that read, "Natinals"...and no, I did not misspell that, they did. That just happened. And then a million, "They're no better at spelling than they are at baseball"-jokes were posted on websites and in newspapers all around the country.

Former pariah and current only-Nationals-player-worth-keeping Elijah Dukes was benched and fined for showing up five minutes late to the clubhouse, hours before a game, because he was signing autgraphs for children at a non-team sponsored little league event.

The Florida Marlins swept a series last weekend (against the Nationals, of course), in which they trailed in the 9th inning or later in all three games.

Not only was Yankee Stadium the most expensive public works project in human history (this may not be 100% accurate), it is also really un-exceptional looking and if you showed me both the previous Yankee Stadium and the new one, I don't think I could tell which was the new one. Money well spent. But at least the stadium has the potential to turn the franchise into a joke considering that balls fly into the stands like free agent pitchers flying away from the Bronx. I hope the Yanks enjoy the $240 million they spent on free agent pitchers this offseason, because they could be the last two big name pitchers that ever sign with the Yankees unless they find a way to keep balls in this yard (see Coors Field).

Alexander Ovechkin was sitting on the bench at the Rangers practice Monday and was thrown out (this is obviously against NHL rules considering his Capitals are playing the Rangers in the playoffs right now). Ovechkin was asked why he was thrown out of the practice, and he said with a smile, "Because they are afraid of me."

The NBA had four playoff games on the schedule on Sunday. Because they are really smart, they had the only one in the Pacific time zone go first, the next two were in the Central time zone, then the last one was back in the Mountain time zone. So rather than ensuring that audiences across the country could watch, they wound up having the New Orleans Hornets play a game that started locally in New Orleans at 9:30 P.M. on Sunday.

The Calgary Flames and Chicago Blackhawks played into overtime in their series opener last week. As they were sending the telecast back out to the rink, the in-studio anchor on Vs. said to keep an eye on the Blackhawks' Marty Havlat in the overtime. 12 seconds in, Havlat scored.

ESPN has been airing college football practices on weekends. But that's not the "That Just Happened"-moment here. No, right after the practices, they are showing kids play video games. The only time it is ok for a television station to show me a person playing a video game, it is in the opening scene of The Princess Bride, or in Big, War Games, or Cloak and Dagger.

Boston's Josh Beckett threw at a player's head and then started two bench-clearing baseball "brawls." He was suspended six games and appealed. It was lowered to five games and because he is a pitcher and doesn't play every game anyway, he will not miss a single scheduled start.

Apparently college softball players have taken up the women's volleyball tradition of team hugs after every God-forsaken point, and are now meeting at the pitcher's mound for awkward team-high fives after each out. I assume this does not happen when runners are on base, but I couldn't watch the game long enough to find out.

The Florida Panthers' play-by-play announcer has figured out a way to create YouTube-worthy game-calls and catch phrases without becoming Chris Berman, who should die a painful death as pennace for his crimes against the sports world over the past 20 years. I hereby petition President Obama to hold off on banning water-boarding for just a bit longer. But I digress. How do you become an internet hit as a small-time minor league, small market sports announcer? [Update: apparently the Florida Panthers are a real NHL team, my bad] Enjoy this link and when you get tired of it, skip to 2:51. Then you can stop (or click the link for Part 2 in the related videos section on the right).


The Thrill said...

The Nationals sewing department is all fired! Epic Fail by whoever sews the jerseys together.

In other news Alex Ovechkinwill score two goals tonight, and get back on track. Weird that he has the most shots but no goals...

The Thrill said...

Alex Ovechkinmost shots in playoffs, but ZERO goals!? That will change tonight!