NBA Action: It's Soporific

I finally got to watch the Lakers-Celtics Game 4, and between that and his Game 5 performance, I see why Kobe Bryant has always pretended he hated the Michael Jordan comparison. Kobe has utterly disappeared in this series. I haven't the foggiest idea who scored enough points for the Lakers to beat the Celtics in Game 5 because I don't remember any of them playing well.

The Celtics had a meltdown in Game 5; they just gave the game away. Perhaps they were tired (after about a week and a half since the last game), or perhaps they were looking ahead to the trophy ceremony, or perhaps they just wanted to go home. Regardless, they stunk. But the thing is, the Lakers didn't have anyone really go out and win the game either. The series is a pretty big snoozer to be honest.

Lamar Odom, Luke Walton, Vlad Radmonovich, Ronnie Turiaf, and Derek Fisher still play for the Lakers; I promise. I know you haven't seen or heard anything from them in a long time, but they're still there. Sasha Vujacic has made three shots in two games, which isn't that big of a deal for a guy coming off the bench. I mean you can't expect him to get too many shots...what's that you say? Those three made shots came on 19 attempts?

Ah, the old Sasha is back. The one who plays basketball like a soccer player (suffering life-threatening, debilitation injuries anytime someone comes within a few feet of him). Seriously, I know 3-year-olds that freak out less when they get bumped into. They also throw fewer temper tantrums and cry in public less. Maybe his poor shooting in Game 5 is a result of his slapping that chair in his weeping anger after Ray Allen undressed him to close out Game 4? Or maybe his poor shooting is a result of his crappiness. Either way, it was funny to watch him cry on Thursday.

Rounding out the crappy play of this series, you have Jordan Farmar who is just simply a terrible basketball player. The amazing depth of the bench has apparently hit low tide, because it ain't deep anymore. Pau Gasol is boring and steady and good and scores 15-18 every game, while making almost no defensive contribution for huge sections of the games. And finally, Kobe has vanished on the big stage.

As for the Celtics, it is more of the same. Pierce is hit and miss, but gets all the credit for the Game 4 comeback (why, I am not sure: he had 20 points, 4 rebounds and 7 assists. Kevin Garnett kinda plays like Tom Chambers. Ray Allen has been steady and smooth and great, but he just doesn't pound his chest, so you don't notice him. Kendrick Perkins was playing ok before getting hurt. Rajon Rondo's injury was the best thing that happened to him - he doesn't have to keep going out there and embarrassing himself by missing undefended jumpers and throwing passes out of bounds.

Eddie House, Sam Cassell, P.J. Brown and Leon Powe are all over the map. There was a stretch last night where Cassell looked like he was going to score 30 points, but most of the time these four are just on the court because you aren't allowed to play with four. James Posey has been pretty solid, but not great enough to become the story.

The stars haven't shined and the benches have just filled time for the most part. It isn't bad basketball, per se. It just isn't great basketball. Maybe I expected too much because of the whole Rivalry story that the league pushed despite that these two teams couldn't have cared less about one another for the last 15 years. Maybe I expected too much because of the Big Three's Battle. Maybe because it is the Championships, I expected greatness just to happen (like the Super Bowl this year). And it certainly isn't over. If the Lakers come back to win, it will go down as one of the great Finals of all time (despite being pretty crappy for most of the series).

I just hope that whatever happens in Game 6, that both teams play well at the same time at any point so we can actually see what it would have been like had the Spurs and Pistons made the Finals.

Lastly, has anyone else noticed that Kobe now stations his wife and kids in the tunnel on the way to the clubhouse after all of the games, so he can be "caught" being a loving father and husband? How much time do you think he spends in front of a mirror every day?

NBA Action: It's The Same As Always!

The NBA should consider a new motto: The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same.

The league saw quite a shake-up among the Who's-Who this season. The Lakers floated to the top on the backs of nobodys like Jordan Farmar and Sasha Vujacic, and near stars like Pau Gasol, Lamar Odom and Derek Fisher (let's face it, Kobe was the same amazing Kobe as always). Chris Paul and Tyson Chandler became superstars in New Orleans. The Suns and Mavs sputtered for most of the season before both bowing out early. The Spurs and Pistons aged before our very eyes. The Celtics looked like the best (and most fun) team in a long, long time. Denver and Golden State and Cleveland were cute, but were never a threat to anybody. And Utah just kept its head above water with Deron Williams looking more and more like the real deal.

The further these NBA playoffs go along, the more things seem the same as they have always been. Despite all the regular season shake-ups, with only eight teams left it now appears that it will be the same final four and same Champion as last year.

The Cavaliers have a chance to tie their series up with the Celtics tonight and although the Celtics have been the team to beat since before day one of the season when Kevin Garnett arrived, he quickly turned into Kevin Garnett when the postseason arrived. The dominating Celtics are 0-4 on the road in the playoffs and escaped one of the NBA's all-time worst playoff teams by the skin of their teeth. The LeBrons are not a championship team, but they are still better than the the Celtics have turned out to be. I think the Cavs will win tonight, and win in Boston, and then come home and close it out in Cleveland with LeBron getting at least two triple-doubles.

Orlando had a chance to even the series at home with the Pistons' best player not suited up. They lost - series over. I am tired of hearing how amazing Dwight Howard is going to be. Yes, his points and rebounds totals have improved in each of his four years. But it has been four years and his claims to fame are: he wore a Superman cape and won the dunk contest despite not actually dunking the ball, he lead the league in dunks in 07-08 and he didn't get swept out of the playoffs by the Pistons in 07-08. He's not Superman, he's the Invisible Man. 8 points in the biggest game of the season? The Pistons will win it Tuesday night and rest up before stomping on the Cavs in 5 games.

The Lakers have finally shown their true colors as well. Before the season, they were the best soap opera in town: everyone hated one another, no one trusted one another, and they all talked behind each other's backs. They came out and won a few games early and suddenly they fell in love with one another. Late in the season, Lamar Odom was asked before a game why the team chemistry had improved so drastically. The answer wasn't, "Kobe grew up," or "we just gelled as a team," or "Phil finally got through to us." It was, "well, we're winning." In Game 4 vs. the Jazz, it was the post-Shaq Lakers again. Kobe shot 33 shots and only made about a third of them. He was hurt, but on plays when he missed shots, made turnovers, got burned or wanted a foul, he was hurt much, much worse than on plays when he succeeded. Phil Jackson listlessly cried "run the offense" over and over from the sideline as Luke Walton, Jordan Farmar and Vlad Radmanovich (combined 7 points, 3-14 shooting) stood around watching the MVP sink the ship, and Ronny Turiaf was not even on the bench (though it was due to stupidity, not injury this time). Yes, the teams are even and the Lakers still have home court. But if Kobe really has a lower back injury, as tough as he is, he can't win two more games by himself. The problem is, we have now seen that when the chips are down - the New MVP Kobe becomes the old Kobe...the one that didn't win a single playoff series since Shaq left.

The Hornets - Spurs series is supposed to be the ultimate Showdown of the New NBA vs. the NBA of the last decade. The Hornets came out in the first two games and shut down the Spurs. San Antonio looked old, bored and just done. Apparently the Fountain of Youth was not in Florida, as the Spanish explorers believed; it is in San Antonio. After returning home, the Spurs dominated Games 3 and 4, so it's all tied up. So what is more likely in the final three games: The Best Team of the last decade will show their age and get run out of the building at least two out of three times, or the upstart Hornets will show their inexperience and get lulled into a close game and get outfoxed two out of three times?

After all the upheaval in the league this season, the Finals will be awfully familiar: the Spurs over the Pistons.

Lastly, has anyone else noticed the NBA Cares commercials where players talk about how they work with kids to teach them the importance of reading and education? The great irony being that the player reading the script has a reading level only slightly higher than that of the 10-year-olds he is seen talking to, and the NBA is among the lowest education levels of any profession. What percentage of players have college degrees? How many have even a second semester of completed college coursework? But I suppose who teaches a good lesson is not as important as the lesson itself.