Third Round
Ohio State over George Mason: "Ooh, I really like the masons. 1 vs. 8 though. Fat guy vs. Free Masons. Fat people make me feel better." Result: correct [Note: The "fat guy" is the Buckeye mascot.]
Syracuse over Xavier: "Professor X vs. Jeff. 6 vs. 3. Jeff gets a little help; let's have him go one more." Result: incorrect, Syracuse lost to Marquette in this game. [Note: Jeff is a former co-worker, Jeff Suss.]
North Carolina over Georgia: "Upsetting UNC? I don't like Peaches that much." Result: correct [Note: "Peaches" is a friend, Andy Etters, who is from Georgia.]
Duke over Michigan: "Ooh, Wolverines...but it's 1 vs. 8. Who did you pick? [Duke] That dude coaches the Olympics. Yes to Duke." Result: correct
Arizona over Texas: "[In Will Farrell's George W. Bush voice:] 'Don't mess with Texas.' Wildcat vs. a longhorn. That's an interesting fight. The wildcat is quicker; wildcats would win. We've gotta start getting more serious about this mascot thing." Result: correct
Connecticut over Missouri: "Connecticut! It's our street! And you were born there. Ooh, that means first boyfriend vs. second. But I married the second one. Boom!" Result: correct
San Diego State over Penn State: "San Diego is a whale's vagina. Look it up; it's in the Geneva Convention." Result: correct [Note: These are paraphrases of two different lines from two different Will Farrell movies. Between these, the Texas line and her obsession with cougars because of Talladega Nights, she's basing most of her picks on his comedy in one way or another.]
Kansas over Illinois: "1 vs. 9. 1 always goes at least two rounds." Result: correct
Notre Dame over Texas A&M: "Notre Dame!" Result: incorrect, Notre Dame lost of Florida State in this game.
Pittsburgh over Butler: "Panther is close to cougar. Although Pittsburgh does have an NFL team. [I told her that Butler is near Indianapolis, which also has an NFL team.] Both have NFL teams, but a cougar would kill a bulldog." Result: incorrect, Butler won this game.
Wisconsin over Utah State: "Double-U beats U." Result: correct
BYU over Gonzaga: "Cougs! [As Farrell's Ricky Bobby:] 'How can I control my heartbeat!?'" Result: correct
UCLA over Florida: "Ooh, that's a tough one. Go Sharks, but a gator vs. a bear? Now that would be awesome. [As Jim Halpert:] 'What kind of bear is best?' Bear is best." Result: incorrect, Florida won this game. [She said "Go Sharks" because the Florida fans do the same arm-movement-chomp as San Jose Sharks fans.]
(Results: 9-7 but with seven-of-eight elite eight teams left, three-of-four final four, one finalist, and her champion)
Sweet Sixteen
Ohio State over Clemson: "Oranges can't beat fat people. The fat people would just eat them." Result: incorrect, Kentucky won this game.
North Carolina over Syracuse: "We already helped Jeff for two rounds. And I like blue." Result: correct
Duke over Arizona: [As Farrell in Old School:] "You're my boy, Blue!" Result: incorrect, Arizona won this game.
Connecticut over San Diego State: "Whoa, this is interesting. Alright, let's play this out. Aztecs vs. Huskies. San Diego vs. Connecticut so where we met vs. where you were born. San Diego has an NFL team that I don't like. Wait, is this 'UConn'? I love UConn!" Result: correct
Kansas over Vanderbilt: "Jayhawk is like an Indian, right? [It's a bird.] Oh. Well a Commodore is like a pirate. And that guy from Pirates was a total sissy, so Kansas is more legit. More American. And they're the 1-seed." Result: correct [Note: I assume the guy from Pirates is Johnny Depp.]
Wisconsin over Pittsburgh: "Cougars vs. Beavers? Please. [Actually it's Panthers and Badgers.] Whatever. I hate Pittsburgh; the Steelers suck and that guy needs a haircut. And my cousin, Blake, went to Wisconsin and he needs good news." Result: incorrect, Butler won this game. [Note: I'm not sure the guy who needs a haircut is, but I assume Troy Polamalu. Blake was in a terrible car accident a few months ago and is recovering.]
BYU over UCLA: "Oh man, a coug vs. a bear! Cougs. I have to be consistent." Result: incorrect, Florida won this game. [Note: Consistent with what? They're the only cougars in the tournament.]
(Results: 3-5, with one Final Four team, one finalist and her champion left)
Elite Eight
Connecticut over Duke: "Whoa. That's hard. I love Duke. And UConn's blue too. And it's Connecticut. 1 vs. 3. That's close. What did you pick? [Duke] But you're from there and we live on it. Blue Devils and Huskies. I picked Duke last year, so not Duke again." Result: correct
(Results: 1-3, with one finalist and her champion still left)
Final Four
Connecticut over Ohio State: [Long pause while considering this one closely.] "UConn has a cooler name. And we live on Connecticut Street, and you were born there. And all Ohio has going for them is flip cup and fat people." Result: correct
Notre Dame over BYU: "Catholics vs. Mormons. Blowout!" Result: incorrect, Butler beat VCU in this game.
(Results: 1-1, with her champion still left)
(Results: 1-1, with her champion still left)
Championship Game
Connecticut over Notre Dame: "I really like Notre Dame, but I just can't do it. The NFL really pissed me off. So UConn." Result: correct [Note: While Notre Dame is not in an NFL city, it is in Indiana, home of the Colts.]
Tie-Breaker: Championship Score
"Connecticut will get 78 because you were born there in that year. And Notre Dame will get 73 because 7 and 3 are the holy numbers. 7 sins and the Trinity! So 78-73."
Some new patterns have emerged. Any vague connection to any Will Farrell movie or line is usually worth one or two picks. This used to just be for Talladega Nights, but it seems to now be all of them.
Notre Dame is her favorite school, for sure. Second is Duke and she obviously is starting to like Connecticut a lot too.
Part 5: Final Statistical Results (coming Thursday)
Tourney Bonus Coverage: The Jim Nantz-pun-o-meter game (coming soon)
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1 comment:
Nicole is insane.
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