Santa Claus Is Stalking Me

[Warning: No Sports Content Whatsoever]

At 10:10 this morning, I got a call on my cell phone with a number I did not recognize and the name "Santa Claus" on the screen. This makes a little bit of sense at first, but then it stops making sense and makes me think I am going to be killed by a reindeer very soon.

Last week, I was babysitting for my sister's children. My nephew was being stubborn when he went to bed and said he didn't want to pray, not even for his mom on Mothers' Day. So I told him I was going to call Santa Claus and tell him. He said he didn't believe me and I told him I'd show him in the morning.

He is not the kind of kid who would forget this type of thing, so before he got up in the morning, I added an entry for Santa in my phone: cell, home and work numbers, email, address...the works. So I showed it to my nephew and he insisted he didn't believe it was real, but was really quiet for a while too.

So I do have an entry for Santa Claus in my cell phone, so if someone at that number called me, that name would show up on the screen. The numbers I entered for my fake Santa entries were a made-up number, my cell number, and my home number with the area code "1-225"...get it? 12/25. I just checked, that happens to be the area code for Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

So you would think that someone from Baton Rouge mistakenly called me this morning, right? Or they were calling random people with the same cell number as them in other area codes, right? And it is just an amazing coincidence that this happened 5 days after I happened to enter their number into my phone (but never actually called it), right?

Here's where it gets creepy. The name on the screen said "Santa Claus," but the number that was calling was not any of the three numbers I have saved into my phone in the Santa Claus listing. And I do not have this number saved into my phone at all, so it should have popped up as "Unknown Caller," but instead it said "Santa Claus." What the hell?

Am I in the middle of a Christmas-themed horror movie? Just in case, I want to say to my wife that I love her and to Kate Beckinsale that I am sorry it never worked out for us.